I remember sitting in my 7th-grade physics class, staring blankly out the window. Clear skies and green fields, full of rabbits bathing in the sunlight. The teacher was rambling on some tangent about the sun — a bajillion hydrogen atoms bumping into each other, exploding with energy to gift life to the world.
When I think about how my life has progressed since then, I think back to this day. Beyond a corny analogy between atoms and human beings, I think about how to balance agency and luck.
It’s astonishing how much one’s life is shaped by chance. Maybe it’s just Joe Blitzstein’s lectures seeping into my brain, but I like to think we are all children of probability. Sometimes, I sit in the Pokeworks in Harvard Square, observing the passerbys. If you come at the same time each day, you begin to notice patterns. It’s the same people, following the same route day after day. Some days are happier. Some days are much more stressful. It’s astonishing to observe how these little data points create a vivid picture of life. You begin to notice how even the smallest events can alter the day’s trajectory. I could sense one lady’s distress when it began to pour outside and she realized she left her umbrella, soaking her clothes before a meeting. I could see the poor child’s trauma unfold when watching his fallen ice cream melt across the brick road. Most beautifully, I’d see strangers blossom into friends as they crossed paths day after day, eventually holding hands and sharing their embrace with each other as they passed by my window. Purely random occurrences, building up to create the big picture.
I begin to wonder if I’ve become part of their routine myself, and they look forward to seeing the same glasses-wearing Korean dude in the restaurant window just watching them. Studiously.
When I think about my own life, the littlest decisions and interactions have snowballed. I met one of my greatest friends, Shivam, at the library because he was already in a conference room I’d booked. We ended up working on so many projects together while also grinding this past summer working on a startup. I met my eventual roommate, Dhrub, while seating myself at a random table after a late-evening section. If someone else had taken that last empty seat, I might’ve never met him.
I’ve had this internal debate for a while now: whether to try to exert more control over my life or to let things happen as they go. Many of my happiest moments happened purely by mistake. And on the flip side, some of my lowest moments happened purposefully, becoming a mistake. Ultimately, I’ve grown to appreciate the beauty of this randomness — because it breathes life and breeds energy. Maybe if the dice rolled a bit differently, I’d have been born a rabbit.
